Poemski: Th Polanski Catalog (Volume VII) TH FINAL EDITION

Buddies,

As th final curtain at The Joey Polanski Show is set to come down well bfore th Wintr Solstice, this is gonna hafta be th final reggalr edition o Poemski: Th Polanski Catalog.  Surely, tho, therell be some Polanski poemin acktivity goin on in th three weeks o Show-time that remain; and so I suspeckt therell be some kinda Supplemental Poemski fer th sake o completin th Catalog.  And I imagine th final post at th Polanski Show will become the final repository o JPS-era poemin from yer favorite poemin Polack.

So here it is, fokes: FINAL POEMSKI -- th Cookies & Candies Edition!

Once again, th graphick comes from Atlas.  Thanks, fella.
Since as far back as first bit o Rasputin poemin ovr at Tetherd Cow Ahead -- right at th start o 2006, and thus less than six munts inta th Show's five-year run -- its been clear that a main driving force in th poemski game was gonna be a kind o intrplay btween Atlas Cerise (known back in th day as "JediMacFan") and me.  Othrs have playd th game ockasionaly.  A few have evn been known to play it reliably.  And, ocourse, some have playd it brillyantly.  But now that years have passd and bloggin energy has dwindld, many of th once-reliable poemrs entr th fray only very rarely anymore, and (fer all I can tell) may have awready packd it in, poemski-wise.  Thus, as is prhaps fitting, theyve left th poemin domain to be reignd o'er uncontestd by Atlanski -- th Bennifer / Brangelina / TomKat amalgam of Atlas & Polanski (only not as totaly gay as that probly sounds).

In th abstrackt, I sppose thats a shameski.  Since th earlyest days o th Polanski Show, th aim has been to blend comedy, creativity, and cameraderie in exackly th way that they invariably are whenevr th poemski game is playd; and th aim is attaind most prfeckly when many fokes are playin it on th same field.  But in th concrete, ocourse, I reckonize that poemski aint evryones cup o teaski.  And -- trust me -- Atlanski is more than equal to th task when evryone else is ridin th pines.  Though non-Atlanski numbrs are down slightly, overall Poemski numbrs are UPski!  So this, along prhaps wif Supplemental Poemski, will likly be th closest thing JPS readrs will see to a PURE ATLANSKI edition o Poemski: The Polanski Catalog.

So lets get to it, then.

1. Christmas Chunks: As Christmas approachd, Atlas publishd a postski about a Chinese docktr cleanin a cats littr boxski.  This led to a quick poemin exchange tween me and him, largely refrencing some quasi-inside jokes him & me like to tell.  Here youll find 2 poemskis from Polanski and 2 from Atlas.  Th post is calld Happy Holidaze.
2. Previously ... on Poemski: In keepin wit tradition, th coments-secktion o Poemski VI brought in some entrys fer th subsequent volume.  Here we seen th term 'Mentards' intrducd inta th lexicon, and this, ocourse, set off a poemin explosion from Atlas.  Here youll find 1 poemski from Polanski, 1 from Nurse Myra, 7 from Atlas, and 1 from th Revrend Anaglyph.  Skip th post and jus read TH COMMENTS.
3. PFOs: And it wudnt long aftr th publickation o Poemski VI that new entrys startd comin in on the always-opn "Poems For Occasions" post ovr at Old Fish and Lemonade.  In fackt, evn tho its bcome (predicktably) an Atlanski game ovr there, th numbr o PFOs postd btween Poemski VI and Poemski VII is pretty much double th numbr o PFOs postd btween Poemski V and Poemski VI, and is well more than haff o th whopping 63 that were postd prior to Poemski V.  Here youll find 21 poemskis from Polanski (includin a string o 10 conseckutive), 15 from Atlas Cerise, and 1 from one "othr."  Read em HERE.
4. RIPE 5: No tellin why, realy, but th Rasputin event this year was calld to a close a whole day, or maybe two whole days, soonr than wouda been expecktd, basd on th previos two events.  Efferts to get th word out payd dividends, tho, as we saw 14 participants on th field -- some whod nevr bfore (and probly havent since) visitd Tetherd Cow Ahead. There remain three poemrs who have playd at all five events -- Atlas Cerise (formrly JediMacFan), Cissy Strutt, and (to be sure) your favorite Polack.  And, ocourse, th Revrend, who didnt start playin wif us until RIPE III, is still a 5-event vet, since his blogskis th place where th events have always takn place.  In spite o th brief duration o this years eventski, and maybe evn wifout all th newbies, I think there were still top caliber laffs to be had -- and not always and exclusively due to th poemin.  But as to th poemin, here youll find 19 poemskis from Polanski, 23 from Atlas, 8 from th Revrend, 2 from Cissy Strutt, and 19 from 10 othrs.  Th post is calld Psychic Pickle.
5. We Are ALL Failures: Like Apollo 13, RIPE V was one o them "successful failures."  That inspird a post from Atlas.  Here youll find 1 poemski from Polanski and 1 from Atlas Cerise.  Th post is calld Thanks for nothing, Joey.
6. More Tits: Dont know if it was my now-famous, oft-imitatd "Please Dont Confuse Em" shtick or th association of maffmaticks wif mammarys that was th crucial facktor here, but sompm in this post inspird a little poemin.  Ocourse, since th poemin was from Atlanski, its unlikly that any special inspiration was evn needed.  Here youll find 1 poemski from Polanski and 1 from Atlas Cerise.  Th post is calld, ocourse, Please Dont Confuse Em!
7. Bird Brains: No volume o Poemski woud be complete wifout linkin to at least one postski where I poemd alone.  A ways into the commenting on a post th Revrend wrote about cigarettes made outta vulture-brains, I tossd in a limerick that earnd me ten outta ten from th Revrend -- but, sadly, no Moo Medal.  Go check out my limerick anyhow.  Th post is calld Smoke 'em If You Got 'em.
8. Get a Little God: Anothr one o th fun games we play ovr at th Revrends is writin new captions in th word-balloon in some pitchr the Revrends postd.  In th midst of it this time, I tossd in a poemski.  No one joind in.  So here we gots anothr place where I poemd aloneski.  Th post is calld The Adventures of Pocket Jesus.
9. Fish Tail: I didnt bothr to go back and lookski, but this volume o Poemski may be th one that contains th most JPS posts that containd poemskis in th posts emselfs (as opposd to containin poemskis only in th coments-secktions). Th first ubm here was one containing a poemski about a nekkid fishin chick.  Here youll find 1 poemski from Polanski and 1 from th Revrend Anaglyph.  Th post is calld poetus interruptus.
10. Blue Bull: My poemin ovr at th Cow may not a-won me a Moo Medal, but it got me a knighthood from King Willy who is, like, th king o sompm or othr.  These poemskis were about a pitchr th Rev postd that featurd a chick and a blue bull.  This is a rare instance where I poemd alone and poemd more than onceski.  Here youll find 4 poemskis by Polanski.  Th post is calld Blue Movie.
11. 2012ski: Are U.S. Americans ready fer anothr Polanski run fer th White House in a coupla more yearskis?  Well, they may not have a choice.  Me neithr, it seems.  Atlas is awready sprayin seed evrywhere.  And why not write poemskis about that?  Here youll find 1 poemski from Polanski and 1 from Atlas.  Th post is calld Not the Change I Wanted.
12. Men on Men: Here's anothr postski containing its own Polanski poemski.  This ones about Mixd Martial Arts, and how fuckin gay it is.  Here youll find 7 poemskis from Polanski, 6 from Atlas, 1 from th Revrend, 1 from Colonel Colonel, and 1 from NurseMyra.  Th post is calld MMA.
13. Cups o Joe: Well, evn tho winnin that Moo Medal has been tough fer me, I have managd to win a numbr o prizes ovr at Tetherd Cow.  But since th Man Bhind th Curtain STAYS bhind th curtain, I always gotta turn down em prizes (bcause theyre, like, REAL prizes that hafta be MAILD, and not just some doodad to download and stick in yer friggin sidebar).  So I gotta have th Revrend hold all my prizes.  He publishd a postski intrducing th shelf where my Cowmendations will be kept.  Here youll find 6 poemski from Polanski, 4 from Atlas, and 1 from th Revrend.  Th post is calld Shelf Life.
14. Foxes: More from my "Please Dont Confuse Em" line ...  This ones about foxes.  Here youll find 1 poemski from Polanski and 1 from NurseMyra.  Guess what th post is calld.  Please dont confuse em!
15. Final Fo': When I announcd back in March that I woud be ending th Polanski Show in mid-July, I wudnt expecktin that to take so much wind outta my sails, motivation-wise.  But wifout a doubt, it didski.  So my announcment postski remaind front & centr fer about six weekskis.  This, ocourse, like any othr post kickin off a Polanski napski, promptd Atlas to try to rouse me by bombardin th post wif poemskis.  As I just implyd, it wudnt my intention to publish that post and then take a lengthy nap -- I was, in fackt, suprisd that I felt so little motivation to play out th remaining four munts o th Show.  (I guess my mind turnd more or less instantly to th kindsa projeckts I envisiond might be takn up once th JPS is laid to rest.)  So, shortly aftr th post was publishd, and bfore I realizd that I was fallin inta a deep deep sleep, I tossd in a poemski.  Thats how come th post gets linkd in this volume o Poemski.  Here youll find 1 poemski from Polanski, 11 from Atlas, and 1 from Queenwilly.  Th post is calld Fo' mo' mo. o' Joe Show.
16. Squirt Exspurt: Th length o th nap followin my retirment-announcment had me in dangr o goin a whole calendr-munth wifout publishin a new post at JPS.  That aint nevr happmd since th show first startd back in July 2005.  Nfackt, so far there aint been a munth where there aint been at least two posts publishd here. (A year or two ago, I was forcd by circumstances beyond my control -- I got hit, during a long napski, by Blogger's improper locking of random blogskis until th blog-ownrs "provd" their blogs wernt spam-blogs -- to go a munth wifout publishing at least 3 posts.)  Ocourse, keepin a monthly arckive is kinda important to me, and I didnt wanna have a 1-post munth eithr; so on th last day o April, I publishd two postskis.  One ubm was a homunckulus post.  This bein a topick popular wif evryone cept AngryMan, poemskis followd.  Here youll find 2 poemskis from Polanski, 1 from Atlas, and 1 from our Poemski VII covergirl, "Mrs. Landingham".  Th post is calld You and Your Homunckulus (a Exspurts Guide).
17. Homo Rekers: Back ovr at Old Fish and Lemonade, Atlas postd a limerick about Bible-thumpr, George Rekers, gettin caught goin on vacation wif his very own rent-a-fag. This touchd off a good ol-fashiond Atlanski shoot-out.  Here youll find 8 poemskis from Polanski and 8 from Atlas -- limericks all.  Th post is calld Free Mustache Rides.
18. In th Beginning: Heres sompm intresting.  Atlas, unbeknownst to evryone cept me, dcided to post a poemski alla way back on th very first post published here at th Polanski Show.  I responded wif a poemski o my ownski.  This bit o poemin woud inspire some poemin a few days latr at Atlas's Old Fish and Lemonade.  Here youll find 1 poemski from Polanski and 1 from Atlas.  Th post is calld reality shows blows.
19. Swedgin: A few days latr at Old Fish, a quick Deadwood-inspird poetick twirl from Atlanski.  Here youll find 1 poemski from Polanski and 1 from Atlas.  Th post is calld Cokesuckers.
20. Flattrd: I poemd alone on th Revrends post about Flattr, a experimental systm fer givin & receivin monetary donations fer werk publishd on th Innrnetski.  Th post is calld Innovation is Sincerest Form of Flattry.
21. Whered th gif Go?: Th Revrends post about a dubious teef-whitening gadget that pipes musick inta yer earskis while shinin a blue light inta yer moufski promptd not just some poemskis, but also a mirthful animatd gif from Atlas that mysteriosly disappeard.  Ah, well ...  Here youll find 2 poemskis from Polanski, 2 from Atlas, and 1 from one othr.  Th post is calld Bluetooth.
22. My Rack, My Sack: Ockasionaly, I post poemskis at th blogskis o prfeckt strangrs.  I do this in th hopes that they might be curious enough to follow my name-link back to th Polanski Show and find it werfwhile to play th stage. Wifout exception, its been like sending invitations to a cemetery -- evn when th bloggrs are in th habit o postin poemskis their own dangd selfskis.  It has always been th Poemski policy NOT to link to blogskis that aint run by Polanski Show playrs; so them "fugitive" poemskis will probly go unlinkd -- tho I might, bfore th Show ends, publish a post containin th poemskis emselfs.  Nfackt, on a coupla ockasions, I made a point o postin versions o "fugitive" Polanski poemskis here at th Show, eithr cuz they seemd somehow "fitting" or cuz I felt th poemski was jus too good to leave hiddn.  One such poemski was a poemski about my bedski.  Here youll find 3 poemskis from Polanski, 2 from Atlas, and 1 from th Revrend.  Th post is calld My Bedski.
23. I Stab at Thee: A while back, me & Atlas dcided we'd post some poemskis at th Revrends gag-blogski, Hello From Hell.  We did our usual thing until th Revrend joind in th funski and wrote one heckuva cool poemski.  I thought Id see if I coud rouse th Devil again, but I ended up poemin alone.  Here youll find, aftr the old six poemskis from bfore, 1 more poemski from Polanski.  Th post is calld Hello from Hell.
24. Stanislas Cup: I think hockey is boring.  So ocourse I hadta publish a post about th Chicago Blackhawks winnin th Stanley Cup.  Poemin ensued.  Here youll find 5 poemskis from Polanski, 2 from Atlas, 7 from "Mrs. Landingham", 1 from "The Phantom", and 1 from "BLAM".  Th post is calld Give a little bit!
25. Awesome: Atlas wrote a limerick about bein awesome.  That being my area o exspurtease, I hadta join in.  Here youll find 2 poemskis from Polanski (includin one undr a nom-d-ploome) and 1 from Atlas.  Th post is calld King of the Pushups.
26. Th Son o Manna: Typickly, of late, th Revrends posts featuring Pocket Jesus lead to submission of alternative captiond photos.  This time, howevr, I decided to try some poemin.  Th Revrend joined in.  Here youll find 4 poemskis from Polanski and 2 from th Revrend.  Th post is calld The Adventures of Pocket Jesus.

Okay.  Lets round em upski.

• 98 Polanski poemskis
• 142 Othr poemskis
• 239 Totl poemskis
• 26 Posts
• 4 Blogskis
  • The Joey Polanski Show (10)
  • Tetherd Cow Ahead (8)
  • Old Fish and Lemonade (7)
  • Hello From Hell (1)
• 22 Poemrs
  • Joey Polanski (98)
  • Atlas Cerise (89)
  • Anaglyph (15)
  • "Mrs. Landingham" (8)
  • Nurse Myra (3)
  • Cissy Strutt (2)
  • Colonel Colonel (1)
  • Queenwilly (1)
  • "The Phantom" (1)
  • "BLAM" (1)
  • 12 othrs (21)