th time is RIPE

Buddies,

Its been comin up a long timeski ...

Now, at long last, its goin downski.



Come on alongski!

By th way ...

Here are some words that rhyme wif Rasputin':

1. rootin
2. tootin
3. bootin
4. lootin
5. hootin
6. Putin
7. Newton

And, fer whatevr it may be werf, here are some words that rhyme wif 'peepee':

1. sleepy
2. creepy
3. weepy
4. teepee
5. swee'pea

-- Emily Dickinjar

Poemski: th Polanski Catalog (Volume VI)

Buddies,

Th usual thankskis to Atlas Cerise for th graphickle freebie.
     Well, fokes, th wintr solstice is here; and that means, in keepin wif my recently revisd policy, that its time fer th publickation o Poemski VI -- also known as th first issue o Wintr Poemski.^*  Yous may recall that I adoptd a twice-per-year planski fer publishin volumes o Poemski: th Polanski Catalog, startin wit th previos volume, Poemski V -- also known as th first issue o Summr Poemski.  Th main reasns fer th new approach were two: First, its easyer than tryin to publish th post exackly when th official count o Polanski poemskis reachs some appropriate numbr (a multipple o 10 -- usualy 20, in th early days).  Seckon, poemin-acktivity had bcome pretty vigorous, and stickin to th old count-orientd policy mighta had Poemski volumes bein publishd so frequently that evn th earlyest poemskis in a new volume couda still been fresh in many readrs memorys.  So th new Summr / Wintr plan guarantees that therell always be a six-munth intrval tween volumes o Poemski.

     Poemski V was a goshdangd blockbusta!  It linkd to 243 Polanski poemskis, and ovr 500 poemskis in all!  Poemski VI cant be expecktd to match em numbrs, and fer sevral reasns.  Fer one thing, if Summr Poemski is publishd on th summr solstice and Wintr Poemski is publishd on th wintr solstice,^** its inevitable that Summr Poemski will link to th load o poemskis submittd fer th January 1 Rasputin International Poetry Exhibition (RIPE).  Thats probly btween 75 and 100 poemskis right there.  There aint no comprable event takin place durin th time when Wintr Poemski is bein compiled.  Fer anothr thingski, th poemin energy has dwindld considerably since th new Poemski plan was adoptd.  Theres only a very small numbr o us who still get up reggalrly fer a good ol fashiond poemfest.  Nfackt, as youll see below, it was a pretty good while aftr th publication o Poemski V that any poemskis got attachd to th Poemski V postski.  Back in th day, a Poemski post had th faitful a-poemin away almost imediately.

     Fer yet anothr thing, along wit th dwindling o poemin energy specifickly has come (aparently) a notable dwindling o bloggin energy genrally.  Th net result o that has been, sadly, that Ive sorta hadta dump more than a few sidebar linkskis, and there seem to be evn fewr prospecktive playrs in th blogassfear now than there were back in th day.  How does this affeckt th count in a Poemski volume, you ask? (usin 'you' in th singular, probly)  Well, evn tho th overt intention o th first Poemski volume was to guide yas to MY poetick efforts ackross th innernets, its also been part o th projeckt since Poemski I to draw attention to th magickle interacktion among membrs o th Polanski Show cmmunity o playrs, where that cmmunity is defind largely by th list o linkd blogskis in th JPS sidebar.  Thus, if past pracktice is to be followd, th fewr th linkd blogskis, foke (singular), th fewr th places a Poemski volume can link to.  And, as it happms, since th publickation o Poemski V back in June, I done poemd at quite a few places that aint linkd in th JPS sidebar.  (Some o these are places that were once linkd, but they lost their links bfore th start o th Poemski VI compilation period.  Th rest o them are places that nevr had links in th JPS sidebar.)  Twas a hard dcision to make, but Ive dcided that Poemski volumes shoud not link to poemskis postd at them places.

     This is a tricky mattr, fokes.  I mean, surely Poemski oughtta be, ultimately, a cmplete catalog o Polanski poetick efforts, and so shoud link to EVRY post where a Polanski poemski has been attachd.  But that aint been th oprative principple in th past; and, trufe be told, Id rathr not link to blogskis that seem to rejeckt my ideal o th blogassfear as a place fer PLAY.  So, then, why not link only to posts at blogskis that Joey Polanski wants to promote?  Well ... heres where it gets complickatd, fokes.  See, I aint nevr been shy about expressin my ideas about what makes fer good bloggin and what dont; but I aint nevr been keen on overtly judgin which partickular blogskis measure up and which ones dont -- except, ocourse, in decidin which blogskis to add to th links-list in th JPS sidebar.  And so I figgerd Id eithr hafta have Poemski volumes link to EVRY post where I submittd a poemski or Id hafta have em link only to Polanski poemskis attachd to posts at blogskis that are linkd in th JPS sidebar.  And bcause I jus cant bring myself to encourage readrship o blogskis that DONT encourage PLAY, I optd fer th lattr.

     But I am still mindful o th ideal that readrs o th JPS be guided to ALL o th poemskis postd in cybrspace by their favorit Polack.  And so Im thinkin about intrducin sompm we can call th Poemski SUPPLEMENTS.  Em supplements will probly be publishd ovr at Joey's Hole, and will likly come in two kinds.  One kind will contain links to Polanski poemskis postd at non-JPS-linkd blogskis that I dont mind spportin.  And where Polanski poemskis are attachd to posts at blogskis that Id realy rathr not spport (which aint uncommon, since I ockasionaly post poemskis at blogskis precisely to see whethr there are some PLAYRs around, learnin all too oftn that there just AINT), then I migt offr a supplement in which I, rathr than insertin linkskis to th posts where th poemskis are attachd, simply esplain th contexts (i.e., recap th bloggrs posts) and then REPRINT my poemskis (along, prhaps, wit th poemskis attachd by othr bloggrs who are Pals o Polanski).  Yeah.  That migt be th best way to adhere to ALL o my values about good bloggin, while respecktin long-standing Poemski tradition.

     But anyway, I now present to ya Poemski VI, th first issue o Wintr Poemski.  It contains 220 poemskis by 11 bloggrs, ockurrin ovr 44 postskis at 1 YouTube page and 5 o th 6 blogskis linkd in th sidebar.  96 o th poemskis are by Polanski, while 124 ubm are by othrs.  Lets get to em awready!

1. PFOs: Since Poemski V was publishd, th first o th Poems For Occasions postd was one o mine; and it was postd on June 25, 2009.  Among th post-Poemski V PFOS are 10 from Polanski and 9 from Atlas Cerise.  Read em HERE.


2. Th Flea-sing: Th Revrend Anaglyph publishd a numbr o posts callin inta question th proposition that a tag wif a magnetick strip innit can keep fleas off yer pet.  Th charlatans hawkin such flim-flamski have takn issue wit th Revrends criticism.  I chimd in wif a poemski (a haiku).  I poemd alone.  Th post is calld ... and So Ad Infinitum.


3. Jacko Off: When Wacko Jacko bit it, you can bet some o th Polanski Show playrs publishd posts on th subjeckt.  And you can bet that inspird some poemin.  Mikes post went up first.  This touchd off quite a poemin expo, most notable fer a vigorous shoot-out involvin mainly Mike and Atlas Cerise.  But it was I who got things startd off.  Here youll find 8 poemskis from Polanski, 7 from Atlas Cerise, and 10 from Mike.  Th post is calld, quite simply, Michael Jackson.


4. Helga & Llew: Nurse Myra is at her best when she is writin about life at th Gimcrack.  A story about a jealous ol bat, a guy in a propellr hat, and a church service fer th senile inspird 1 poemski from Polanski and 1 from Atlas Cerise.  Th post is calld where are we mother?


5. Poemski V: Usualy a Poemski volume starts off wit th poemskis that were attachd to th previos Poemski volume.  But -- alas! -- th poemin energy has been low in recent munts; and thus it wudnt until aftr th postin of all th poemskis awready mentiond here that any poemskis got attachd to th Poemski V post.  Here youll find 1 poemski from Polanski, 1 from Mike, and 1 from Cissy Strutt.  Skip th post and jus read TH COMMENTS.


6. Cmmanded: Th Revrend publishd a post about God cmmanding Abraham to sackrifice his son Isaack.  A few refrences to biblickle foke led erstwhile Polanski Show playr, Casey, to post a little rhyme cnnecktin Methuselah to ... yep ... Rasputin!  When I postd a reggalr ol coment in rsponse, th Rev pracktickly cmmanded me to write a dangd poemski!  (See, fokes?  Th Revrend feels gyppd if he dont get a Polanski poemski!)  Ocourse, I obligd.  Here youll find 1 poemski from Polanski and 1 from Casey.  Th post is calld The Problem of Faith.


7. Hackin Jacko: Next up in th Wacko Jacko postin was th Revrends recap of a quick convo among his stepdaughtrs about MJ gettin autopsyd.  Now how coud we poemrs possibly abstain?  Here youll find 2 poemskis from Polanski, 1 from th Revrend Anaglyph, 3 from Atlas Cerise, and 1 from Cissy Strutt.  Th post is calld Leave Me Alone.


8. Mental: Atlas Cerise is goin to college.  He hadta take a corse in psyckology.  His teachrs startd teachin him about homunckulus stuffski.  Poemskis are pracktickly inevitable.  Intrestingly, th poemskis are all about th Unitd States Navy, rathr than about homunckuli.  Here youll find 2 poemskis from Polanski and 1 from Atlas Cerise.  Th post is calld Psychology 101ski.


9. FUN: I wrote a fun little tale about a dude and a chick sayin stuff that was, like, always implyin th peepee jokeski.  Think that wont inspire poemskis from juvenile fuckrs like me & Atlas?  Yeah?  Well, we done throwd ya a curveball here, fokes, cuz our poemskis were all, like, writtn in CODEski.  Yeah.  Atlas & me gots, like, our own friggin language nowski.  Ah, well, fuckrs ...  Try to enjoy our poemskis anyhow.  Here youll find 2 poemskis from Polanski and 1 from Atlas.  Th post is calld a little tale.


10. Tards: I postd a pitchr of a sign which, if read a certain way, refrs to tard kids.  Poemin followd.  Here youll find 1 poemski from Polanski and 1 from Atlas Cerise.  Th post is calld Are we havin fun yet?


11. Praise th Lucre: Th Revrend publishd a post pointin out th hypocrisy of a outfit offerin "Christian" debt consultation.  I tossd in a coupla poemskis.  Th post is calld Matthew 19:24.


12. Tward th Haff-Deckade: I wrote a post cmmemorating th end o my fourth year o bloggin.  Kinda wannad to fuck witchyas and leave yas guessin as to whethr Id go ahead & start a fift year.  Th ockasion and th subsequent bloggin-nap I took led to some poemin.  Here youll find 2 poemskis from Polanski, 4 from Atlas Cerise, 2 from Cissy Strutt, 1 from Colonel Colonel, and 1 from Buzzardbilly.  Th post is calld 4th downski.


13. Old Rasputin: Ending a long napski usualy calls fer a real specktackular postski.  And this nap ended (and th JPSs fift year bgan) wif my postin a long narrative poemski featurin some Pals o th Pole.  Here youll find 3 poemskis from Polanski and 3 from Atlas Cerise.  Th post is calld Pickle Me Giblets!


14. Blue Woo: Th Revrend publishd a post pokin fun at th idea of a iPhone app that enables you to shine on yerself a pain-relieving lightski.  Here youll find 1 poemski from Polanski, 1 from Atlas Cerise, and 1 from th Revrend.  Th post is calld Blue Moonshine.


15. In Seasn: Cissy Strutt postd a pitchr of a blue wintr sky.  Ocourse, th Aussies have wintr in th summr.  But Im a poemr fer ALL seasns, fokes.  Here youll find 2 poemskis from Polanski, 1 from Cissy Strutt, and 1 from Atlas Cerise.  Th post is calld Sydney winter sky.


16. OBAMA: I postd a pitchr of a sidewalk in my naybrhood, on which was stencild a image o Presdent Barack Obamas face.  That inspird a little bit o poemin.  Here youll find 2 poemskis from Polanski, 1 from Atlas Cerise, and 1 from Colonel Colonel.  Th post is calld prioritys.


17. More on Morons: Th Revrends ongoin war wit th Shoo!TAG™ fokes is usualy good fer some poemin.  Here youll find 3 poemskis from Polanski, 3 from Atlas Cerise, 1 from th Revrend Anaglyph, and 1 from Colonel Colonel.  Th post is calld EMF -- It's Not What You Think!


18. Lust fer Life: I postd a pitchr of a bit o graffiti expressin overtly th artists lack of a lifeski.  Me & Atlas (Who else?) had some fun poemin about it.  Here youll find 3 poemskis from Polanski and 2 from Atlas.  Th post is calld Thanks, Capm Ovious.


19. Lumbrjack Limerick: Most o th poemin I do in th blogassfear is done in coments -- eithr coments left at JPS or coments left at othr places.  I dont too oftn write posts containing poemskis.  But playin around wif words inspird a silly little limerick, and a coupla othr fokes joind in th funski.  Here youll find 1 poemski from Polanski, 1 from Atlas Cerise, and 1 from Buzzardbilly.  Th post is calld bestsellr.


20. FUNambulism: When a post at Nurse Myras containd a poemski, I hadta offr one o my ownski.  Here youll find 1 poemski from Polanski and 1 from Nurse Myra (borrowd).  Th post is calld clerical benefits.


21. Hicks, Hay, and Hootrs: Atlas postd a poemski about his trip to a small Ohio town fer a famly gathering. I tossd in a poemski tooski.  Here youll find 1 poemski from Polanski and 1 from Atlas.  Th post is calld The Mullets of Mayberry.


22. Spooky Toof: Th Revrend insists that evidence that a produckt whitens teef is suspeckt when it involves Photoshop.  I dont know about that guy somtimes.  But here youll find 3 poemskis from Polanski, 2 from Atlas Cerise, 2 from th Revrend Anaglyph, and 1 from Cissy Strutt.  Th post is calld The Shadow of Your Smile.


23. Th Atlanski Brigade: In th war against Shoo!TAG™, Atlas gots th Revrends backski and I bring up th heavy poetick artillery.  Here youll find 2 poemskis from Polanski.  Th post is calld Does Shoo!TAG™ Really Work?


24. Short Verse: Anothr homunckulus-relatd post at Old Fish and Lemonade again inspird some poemin.  This is, I think, a especialy fun exchange tween me & Atlas.  Here youll find 3 poemskis from Polanski and 3 from Atlas.  Th post is calld The Other OTHER Lil' Bastard.


25. Th Post: I also kinda had fun poemin about a pitchr Atlas postd of a U.S. Mail truck parkd outside a UPS store.  Here youll find 3 poemskis from Polanski and 2 from Atlas Cerise.  Th post is calld Traitor.


26. Come.  Rhyme.  Be Long: Heres anothr especialy fun bit o poemin.  Atlas began his official ad-campaign fer th fift annual Rasputin event, and th three "foundrs" -- me, Atlas, and th Revrend Anaglyph -- tossd in a poemski apiece.  Th post is calld More to Come.


27. Contra Versey: Jus how DOES th dangd chart realy work, and can it help us dcide whethr crimson is a shade o red or a shade o prple?  Here youll find 1 poemski from Polanski, 1 from Atlas Cerise, and a whole heckuva lotta debate about whethr th way th chart realy works is undrstood.  Th post is calld Soup.


28. Chaptr & Verse: My posts at JPS containing passages from non-canonickle gospels usualy leads to a Atlanski poemin show.  Attachd to thisn youll find 3 poemskis from Polanski and 3 from Atlas.  Th post is calld a fuckin show for th Holy Famly.


29. PRUNES: More Atlanski poemskis writtn in code, dciphrable only by pompous dingbats.  Here youll find 3 poemskis from Polanski and 3 from Atlas.  Th post is calld For a Tight Squeeze.


30. TubeTube: Atlases Rasputin ad-campaign included two videos postd on YouTube.  On th YouTube page o th first o these, I postd a poemski.  Heres a link to th page.


31. Skullful o Mush: How many times have you heard it said that we humans only use about 10% o our brains?  Well, speakin prsonaly, Ive heard it enough times to be sure that thats 100% true.  Th Revrend scoffs anyway.  And th rest o us poem away happily.  Here youll find 2 poemskis from Polanski, 1 from Atlas Cerise, 1 from th Revrend Anaglyph, and 1 from Cissy Strutt.  Th post is calld Brain Dead.


32. Dark Brew: I gots a herd o squirrels that I feed evry day.  And when th squirrels are eatin, I gets a chance to take some pretty good close-up photos ubm.  Somtimes th way they hold a peanut makes em look like theyre playin a harmonica.  Othr times it makes em look like theyre sippin a little cup o coffee.  Thats th image that inspird this post.  Th post then inspird some fun Photoshop work from th Revrend and Atlas.  Only I felt like writin a poemski about it.  Th post is calld Squirrelus caffeinatus.


33. Crimson & Clevr: Its dangd hard to figgr out what color a car is.  Spposin it looks white but says yellow?  I dunno.  But I know that blood is crimson.  Maybe thats red, maybe its prple.  Its almost like ya gotta use some kinda chart to figgr out th right color -- and then ya gotta make sure you undrstand how th goshdangd chart realy works.  Poleticks, rligion, colors, and charts -- these are things I try to avoid discussin, cuz they always lead to arguments rootd in dnominational diffrences.  But my rippin off a old scab led not so much to a renewd flow o th crimson, but rathr to a rathr dlightfully humorous poemin duel tween Atlas and th Revrend.  Me and Cocovan added a little fillr.  Here youll find 2 poemskis from Polanski, 3 from Atlas Cerise, 2 from th Revrend Anaglyph, 1 from Cocovan.  Th post is calld fuck hue.


34. Balls: I think I mentiond in Poemski V that I aint a realy big fan o haiku.  Haiku tends to be less challenging to write and less fun to read, since it dont involve th intrickacys o rhyme & metr.  But haiku does seem a effecktive vehickle fer dliverin a decent one-linr.  And so I offerd up a little Joeku in Poemski V and a little more here in Poemski VI.  Atlas done EXPLODED wit th haiku in rsponse, and a coupla othrs did a little poemin too.  Here youll find 3 poemskis from Polanski, 10 from Atlas Cerise, 1 from Simply Curious, 1 from Nurse Myra, and 1 from Cissy Strutt.  Th post is calld Joeku.


35. Owl: Atlas wrote a poemski about a owl buildin a nest outside his window.  A bird ... hootrs ... yeah ... you know there are some poemin possibilitys thereski.  Here youll find 2 poemskis from Polanski, 1 from Atlas Cerise, 1 from th Revrend Anaglyph, and 1 from Nurse Myra.  Th post is calld I Should Have Been Specific.


36. Miss Hole-Away: Fer a while, Atlas was werkin at a place calld Sterling Cooper, where he routinely fantasizd about a imaginary office cookie he calld Miss Holloway.  When he left SC, twas th Miss he woud most miss.  Him & me poemd about it.  Here youll find 1 poemski from Polanski and 1 from Atlas.  Th post is calld Cut From the Team.


37. Gobble: Lotsa poemin takes place ovr at Old Fish and Lemonade.  As Thanksgivin approachd, Atlas postd a poemski about a hot Australian bird namd Miranda Kerr.  Me & th Revrend tossd in a poemski apiece.  Th post is calld A Perky Turkey.


38. Flying Turkey: I did lotsa poemin on and around Thanksgiving Day.  Some of it was at blogskis that a Poemski volume wont link to; but a good bit o th hollyday poemin is Poemski-qualifyd.  Like th poemin here on my post commemoratin th day.  Here youll find 4 poemskis from Polanski, 1 from Buzzardbilly, 2 from th Revrend Anaglyph, and 1 from Atlas Cerise.  Th post is calld Happy Givethanksing!


39. Cow Shit: Some o th hollyday poemin ockurrd ovr at Tetherd Cow Ahead, where th Revrend publishd a post callin attention to some o th TCA stuff you can get yer mitts on if ya gots th scratch.  Here youll find 3 poemskis from Polanski and 1 from th Revrend.  Th post is calld I'll Be Home For Christmoos.


40. Scouts Hummr: More o th hollyday poemin spree took place ovr at Mikes blogski, Tongue In Check (th WordPress version).  Here youll find 2 poemskis from MEski.  Th post is calld Things Out My Front Door.


41. 4play: As Atlases pre-RIPE fanfare unfolded ovr at Old Fish and Lemonade, we were sure to see a anticipatory post ovr at Tetherd Cow Ahead, th "proving ground."  I usualy feel obligatd to toss in at least one poemski -- exackly one, in this instance.  Th post is calld Pens Up.


42. Th Final Blow: I also tossd in a coupla poemskis when Atlas postd th final installment of his RIPE V ad-campaign.  Atlas joind me in th poemin.  Here youll find 2 poemskis from Polanski and 3 from Atlas.  Th post is calld Come One, Come All!


43. Sistrs in Stockings: Wit th Christmas hollyday approachin, Atlas postd a poemski wif a nun theme.  I added a poemski.  Th post is calld Nun the Miser.


44. Christ's Place: Postskis wif a rligios theme rathr oftn inspire poemin among th Polanski Show faitful.  As part o my "... where our motto is ..." shtick, I postd a pitchr of a sign at a local church calld, casually enough, "Christ's Place."  Atlanski had a little poemin fun wit that.  Here youll find 1 poemski from Polanski and 2 from Atlas.  Th post is calld ... where our motto is ....

     So there ya have it, fokes.  Lets do a final round-up.

• 96 Polanski poemskis


• 124 Othrs poemskis


• 220 Totl poemskis


• 44 Postskis


• 7 Siteskis
  
  • The Joey Polanski Show (14 posts)
  
  
  • Old Fish and Lemonade (14 posts)
  
  
  • Tetherd Cow Ahead (10 posts)
  
  
  • Tongue In Check (2 posts)
  
  
  • Gimcrack Hospital (2 posts)
  
  
  • Ginger Stick (1 post)
  
  
  • JediMacFans YouTube Channel Page (1 post)
  
  


• 11 Poemrs
  
  • Joey Polanski (96 poemskis)
  
  
  • Atlas Cerise (79 poemskis)
  
  
  • Anaglyph (14 poemskis)
  
  
  • Mike (11 poemskis)
  
  
  • Cissy Strutt (8 poemskis)
  
  
  • Nurse Myra (3 poemskis)
  
  
  • Colonel Colonel (3 poemskis)
  
  
  • Buzzardbilly (3 poemskis)
  
  
  • Cocovan (1 poemskis)
  
  
  • Casey (1 poemskis)
  
  
  • Simply Curious (1 poemskis)
  
  

^*Yeah, fokes, Im well aware o th fackt that th wintr solstice was yestrday, Decembr 21.  So yeah, I know that Im a day late in publishin Poemski VI.  But Christmas time is here, fokes; and, as luck woud have it, some Pals o Joey done draggd me off fer some hollyday celebration and didnt release me till it was too late to put all th finishing touchs on th post bfore th 21st bcame th 22nd. And so th publickation o Wintr Poemski on th day o th wintr solstice is whatd be calld, in th parlance familyar to me & my brothr Piet, a weak tradition -- which is a way o sayin its a tradition that is talkd up alot, but virtualy all o th talk turns out to be bullshit.

^**A WEAK tradition!  Somwhere, Piet is laughin.