JPS histry quizski

Buddies,

Heres a quiz-question for yas:

Durin th first year o The Joey Polanski Show, its official motto was NOT "... smilin like th crack in yer ass since July 2005 ..."

Instead, it was (check one):

  [ ]   "... as long as it's funny"

  [ ]   "... as funny as it is long"

  [ ]   "... so long it aint evn funny"

  [ ]   Othr (spessify)

(And, fer those o you who are thinkin youll jus try t be FUNNY wifout werryin about whethr youre RIGHT, ...

...

Well ...

... I mean, who am I to stand in yer way?)

goin frigid

Buddies,

The fault Longinus identified as "frigidity" occurs in fiction whenever the author reveals through some slip or self-regarding intrusion that he is less concerned about his characters than he ought to be -- less concerned, that is, than any decent human being observing the situation would naturally be.  Suppose the writer is telling of a bloody fistfight between an old man and his son, and suppose that earlier in the story he has shown that the old man dearly loves his son, though he can never find an adequate way to show it, so that the son, now middle-aged, still suffers from his belief that his father dislikes him, and wishes he could somehow turn the old man's dislike into love.  Suppose further that the writer has established this story of misunderstandings with sufficient power that when the fistfight begins -- the old man's blow to the side of his son's head, the son's astonished raising of his arms for protection, the old man's second blow, this time to the nose, so that the son in pain and fury hits the old man on the ear -- our reaction as we read is horror and grief.  We bend toward the book in fascination and alarm, and the writer continues: "The old man was crying like a baby now and swinging wildly -- harmlessly, now that he'd been hurt -- swinging and crying, red-faced, like a baby with his diapers full."  "Yuk!" we say, and throw the book into the fire.  What has happened, of course, is that the writer has forgotten that his characters' situation is serious; he's responded to his own imagined scene with insufficient warmth ...  In a word, the writer is frigid.

-- John Gardner,
The Art of Fiction

Amusd, Joey closd th book and carefully placd it on his lap.  He then closd his eyes and reclind in th chair, smilin all th while like a Jap eatin cheese.

small town values

Buddies,

Th city I live in is a fairly wholsome place.

...

...

But ...

...

... if you know exackly where t lookski ...

...

... and you look REAL HARDski ...

...

... you CAN find HO NEGGERS here.

Spring Shwing

Buddies,

"Buttrfly,

Dont fluttr by.

Light in MY gardn,"

Stutterd I.

---

But, nay, he passd,

Each blade o grass,

Then lightd on,

Some ladys ass.

-- Henry Fellowswerf Longwad

Squirrelus harmonicus

Buddies,


Cissy Strutts flora gots fauna.

...

...

Mine gots talent.

-- "Nuts" Polanski