Th fella in th pitchr is James Hydrick. James Hydrick is a fella who, when he was in his erly twennys in th very erly 1980s, causd quite a stir wif his claims that he had psyckick powrs -- telekinesis, specifickly, which is th ability to move shit wifout usin physickle force o any kind. He claimd his powr was heightnd by his study o Far Eastrn martial arts, and evn set up a sckool to help othrs dvelop their own telekinetick abilitys -- which, ackordin to him, we all gots.
Especialy intresting about Hydrick is that he was only too willin to demonstrate his powr publickly -- on national TV evn. And, look: This guy wunt no Uri Gellr dipstick. He aint grippin a spoon and showin ya part of it, makin it look like its in th process o bendin when hed awready fully bent it wif his hans while no one was lookin. Nuh-uh. Young Jimmyd put a pencil on th table, think real hard, hold up his hans, twitch his fingrs, shift his hans, and th pencil woud pivot on th table -- wifout him touchin it! Then, hed put a phone book on th table, opm it up to th middle pages, step back from th table, wave em hans around, and th pages woud turn, seeminly all by emselfs!
James Randi is a crotchty ol bastrd who thinks all ese psyckick dudes is a-fulla shit. I mean, Randi usta be a prfessional magician, but now he jus goes around sayin how all th psyckicks is a-fulla shit. Nfackt, he evn offrs a million smackrs to anyone who can prove, undr cntrolld sientifick obsrvation cnditions, that they gots paranorml powrs. Well ... thats NOW that he offrs a mill. Back when Jimmy Hydrick was dazzling fokes on TV shows like That's Incredible!, Randi was only offrin a measly $10G.
Those o yous who know about th Randi challenge is probly also aware o how tdays workin psyckicks -- like John Edward & Sylvia Browne -- aint goin anywheres near that mean ol bastrd and his million bucks. Thats cause they know NOW what "cntrolld sientifick obsrvation cnditions" realy means. Ah, but back in th days o innocent lil Jimmy Hydrick, things was diffrent.
(You know this is a-gonna be good, dontcha?)
Well, Young Jim awready dazzld th fokes on That's Incredible!, and thats what led to his appearance -- along wif Randi -- on That's My Line.
So out comes Bob Barkr and out comes Randi. We lern all bout th $10G offr. Then Randi skedaddles and out comes Jimmy Hydrick. Th pencil pivots. Th pages turn. Th audience claps. All aftr th requisite hand-wavin & fingr-twitchin & shit, you undrstand. Then out comes Randi again & th funski REALY begins.
Randi says he thinks Jimmy H jus been a-blowin th dangd pencil and th dangd pages; and blowin is a physickle force, not a psyckick one. So ol Dr Killjoy sets up th phone book again and spreads a buncha, like, styrofoam chips all round it -- you know, like packin peanuts, or whatevr em things is calld. And then he basickly tells Jim t go & blow THAT. I mean, what hes realy sayin is that if Jimmy realy IS just a-blowin th shit around, then we shoud see em ghost turds take to th air when th pages turn.
Well, t make a long story ... well ... not too much longr, th foam dont move, but neithr do th pages. Poor lil Jim cant turn em, no mattr how much he waves th hands & twitchs th fingrs. Th $10G stays in Randis twistd claw.
If ya gots twenny minutes and you wanna see th whole thing, you can watch it RIGHT HERE.
Oh, yeah ...
I guess that aint th las time th force o th blow got poor Jimmy Hydrick inta trouble. Seems th guys currently in th joint fer "oral copulation in concert with force." If ya gots anothr coupla seckons, you can view his datasheet in Californias registry o sex offendrs RIGHT HERE.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Friday, May 30, 2008
Needin to run some errands and bein a bit pressd fer time, I acseptd a friends offr of a ride t werk yestrday. I usualy ride my bikeski to werk, and so yestrday I hadta walk home. Its was a pretty hot & sticky day, so I stoppd at a store to buy sompm cold t drink on my way home.
In th store, two people were ahead o me in th checkout line. One was a chick who was then payin fer her stuff. Direckly ahead o me was a white guy dressd in a black sport coat ovr a black pullovr shirt. His pants was also black, as were his shoeskis. His hair hung down btween his shouldr blades and was th color o wet beach sand. He wore it in dreadlocks and had th dreadlocks pulld back and bound in a kinda ponytail. He also had a close-croppd sandy-colord beard, each whiskr bein just a tad longr than "stubble." On his face he wore a pair o wire-rimmd specktickles, wif untintd lenses.
I know what his face lookd like cause when I steppd in line bhind im, he sorta turnd around and gamme a quick & almost dismissive lookski. And while he was turnd around I seen what he had in his hand, what he was waitin t pay fer.
Whaddya think he was buyin, fokes?
Well OCOURSE it was jasmine tea! I toldjas this was a no-brainr, dint I?