Abu Musab Al-Qabloowi
Buddies,
I know this aint a-gonna be a very popular thing t do, but Im namin th guy pitchrd above -- Richerd Reid, offn calld "th Shoe Bombr" -- as th official Islamic terrorist of The Joey Polanski Show.
WHY? -- you might ask. Well, prhaps by bstowin some kinda honor on this guy, I might do my part to encurage othr terrorists to be funny nstead o frightning. Why do I think th Shoe Bombr is funny? Dint he set out t blow up a whole airplane full o passengrs? Aint blowin up planes a scary thing t do?
Well, yeah. But look at th guy! Hes rtarded, aintee? Dont ee just look like some kinda haff-assd terrorist? An think about how he tryd t blow up that airplane. He packd his shoes fulla explosives n then tryd t detnate em by usin a butane lightr.
Oh, it gets evn bettr! Whilst tryin t light up his shoes, he done got caugt n rstraind by othr fokes on th plane! He got took down by a friggin stewardess bfore he coud blow up shitski! Plane lands, an ol Mr Terrorist was just hauld out n turnd ovr to th po-lice!
Pretty funny, huh?
But theres one more thing. Guy aint evn a real Ay-rabb. Hes, like, a Limey! Ya know, from Great Brittn. So th next time yer wondrin why theres a official terrorist of The Joey Polanski Show, I jus want ya to imagine some rtarded guy hoppin round on one foot as he pulls up th othr one an frannickly flicks his Bic against th bottom of his shoe, yellin in th Kings English as some chick pouns him inta submission, "A Zippo! A Zippo! My kingdom & all em 75 virgins for a friggin Zippo!"
10 took th stage:
I agree that the JPS needs to be ever mindful of shoe bombers. To steal a phrase from Cash, Long Live The Revolution!
Maxwell Smart's shoe phone never worked real well either. I think we can conclude from this that shoe-based stealth gadgets are a loser concept.
The Bat Utility Belt, on the other hand....
I agree that there would be a problem with people laughing themselves to death because of his apearance, long time before he can blow them up and recieve his estimated virgins. Oh, poor virgins by the way.
Chickie: If evry shoe was bombd, Cash woont have nothin t chew on.
Revrend: No doubt th shoe-bombin plot was hatchd undr th ol Cone of Silence.
Ole: Im sure Reids prformance was bettr than th in-flight movie -- whatevr it was. (WELLCOME, OLE, by th way!)
And he's even unglier than you Joey!
You have to admit, He's got sole baby!
I tried to lace this comment with some tonque in cheek humor, But eyelet you guy's down....Well I have to go I'm late for upper....
Don't think me a heel.......
Malach: I dunno. I thinks I coud cmpete.
Coco: ba-dump-bump, PSHHHHH!
And what's even friggin' funnier is that because of Al-Qabloowi, we have to take off our shoes and give up our lighters when going through airport security.
Imagine if hadn't been Corky The Terrorist.
Okay guys, I'll let ya in on a li'l secret 'bout havin' ta take yer shoes off at the airport. It's not 'cause a the wannabe shoe bomber. It's 'cause Mikey Chertoff's got a foot fetish. But, shhhhhh, it's a secret.
Mike: Yeah. Imagine if it had been a guy tryin t blow up his britchs.
Mr. Presdent: Please dont put Mikey Foley in charge o airport security, kay?
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