PU II

Buddies,

That cmmunity collidge that holds some o its classes in th bildin where I werk also offrs some noncreditatd corses in th area o FAMLY & CONSUMR SIENCE. One o th subfields in this area is FOODS. Heres one o th corses offrd in this subfield:

DEBONING POULTRY: Learn how to work with a whole chicken or other forms of poultry. You will learn how to cut the chicken into eight usable pieces, deboning, and properly truss for roasting. Don't pay the extra money to have the store cut this for you. It is easy once you know how. We will also cover sanitation methods to use when working with poultry. Bring to class: 3 whole chickens, a boning knife (a thin flexible knife), a medium sized cooking knife, an acrylic or wood cutting board, and a container to take your chickens home in. Please wear closed-toed shoes.

Oviously, yer gonna need a pretty big napsack if yer gonna take this class; cause, I mean, yer spposta bring, like ... ummm ... like, three whole ... ummm ...

Kay. Whats up wit da closd-toed shoes, huh? Dont wanna end up wit chickn guts a-squishin tween yer toesys? Personaly, Ida figgerd that if yer werkin wit sompm messy like a whole chickn, a few free toes coud come in ... ummm ... handy. Forchunatly, I gots this pair o closd-toed slides I been savin fer a special ocasion.

Heres anothr one o th corses in FOODS::

SAUSAGE MAKING MADE EASY: With a hands-on experience, you will learn to make summer sausage, bratts, polish sausage, jerky, and many other types of sausages with simple, inexpensive equipment in your home. The course will cover casings, spices, types of meat to use, (including deer and elk meat), stuffing, smoking, and ideas to make a simple smoker. If you have ever wanted to learn the basics of sausage making or how to smoke that perfect turkey - this is the class for you. NOTE: Class will be held at Sanders Country Kitchen, 2499 - 25th Road, Dwight, NE. Take Highway 79 to County Road D (which is the first road past the gas stations in Valparaiso). Travel west 4 miles, follow the signs, and when you reach the green mailbox, you are there.

Nevr t be outdone, Polanski University (PU) has added th followin crepitatd couses to its evr-growin currickulum:

BONIN A BIRD: Evry bird shoud have a bone in her. But truly wondrus things happm when that bone is proprly handld. Take th bone out too soon an th bird loses sompm. Leave th bone in too long an th bone loses sompm. In this class, youll lern th ancient art o bird-bonin, from J. K. Polanski, recipient o th Splayd Chickn an Ruptured Duck Awards. Bring to class: Yer favrit bird (completly undressd), an a set o drawrs t put yer bone an giblets in when yer done. Yer gonna wanna use em again.

STUFFIN YER SAUSAGE LIKE YA KNO WHAT YER DOIN: A dinnr-date can become a life-transformin experience, once ya lern howta stuff yer sausage in a variety o national styles. With hans-on demnstrations by Jerky Guy an Mastr Meathandler J. K. Polanski, youll lern howta pour th pork in places where th pork aint nevr been pourn bfore. NOTE: Th class will be held in th storeroom at Madam Suzannes Newsstand & Gun Shop. Its th third door on yer right, headin east thru th alley off 69th Street btween Jack an Cumming. Knock twice on th uppr door, once on th lowr, then walk once aroun th block bfore enterin th nex door down.

Enrollment begins SOON!

-- Dean Polanski